Ouch. My upper lip sustained 2 cuts because some hall 6 waterpolo player banged his head against my mouth. Its been almost 5 days and it doesnt seem to get any better even after putting salt (double ouch)
how
-Mark-
2/04/2012 07:00:00 PM
Who is this person that i see in the mirror? What of the expectations that others have on him? What of the expectations that he has of himself? What about all the promises and hardships that will face him when he comes out to the world in 7 months time?
I see a confident yet insecure man. I see a mature yet childish personality. I see a flicker of fire in his eyes, yet is still so naive. I see a passion of wanting to be more than what he can become, yet is held back by things he cannot control.
I am only 24, still young but with lots of responsibilities. I am only 24 yet i want to be 34. I want a good paying job; good advancement in my career; happy with my friends, colleagues, bosses and working hours; drive a nice car; live in a comfortable home with my wife at my side every night, watching the night pass by. Not having to worry about work or the meeting that i'll have tomorrow. She not having to worry about work or the meeting tomorrow. Everything in its place, where it should be.
But why does this never work out for anyone?Are we expecting too much in this lifetime? Can life ever be perfect? Can it ever be sweet and blissful? I know the answer but it is so hard to get there. I know that only God can give me that happiness and that I have to make him the center of my life. I know too that even when the world turns against me, when my parents turn against me, I still have him and I can trust in him completely and get through all hardships. But just how hard it is to make him the center of my life.
God is the cornerstone in my life and from that cornerstone, I build my life. He has given me my Dad who has provided the family with the stability it needs. Given my mom the love that she deserves. He has given me a comfortable family to grow up in. He has given me Debbie whom is the love of my life. And blessed me with the opportunity of being able to study in the University.
I look forward with hope and renewed vigor. That with him all things are possible. I've met with hard times and suffered but without them, i wouldn't be who i am today. More will come and they will only make me come out of my comfort zone and grow up and mature into the man that I will become. The man his son will look up to with admiration and draw inspiration to become a better person that I will ever be.
I pray that we will all find our own happiness. Amen.
-Mark-
11/13/2011 12:00:00 AM
Is tough isn't it?
Work, family, friends, girlfriend, money(or the lack of it), bad economy, projects, energy(and the lack of it again)
Why can't life be easy and carefree? Sitting by the balcony chilling or watching a movie in the living room couch and watch the days pass by..
I have yet to reset things in my life and things have started to pile up even more.
I think...... I just need a good sleep today. And hopefully wake up all energetic and ready to FIGHT!
If I have a chance to relive my life... I wish I could be born an ang mor in Australia or New Zealand or somewhere chillax like that
-Mark-
9/04/2011 09:08:00 PM
Just some ramblings after coming out from the shower..
Ok. I'll admit it now. I started off this semester really horribly. If I could, i'll press the reset button right now. Here is why:
- Into the 3rd week and I am already 2 lectures (4hrs) behind time.
- There are 3 tutorials tomorrow and 2 i have not attended the lectures
- I got to do my FYP literature review by Wednesday
- I got to submit my resume to Stephen Chong to vet by this Friday
- On top of all these, I got very important things to do every night
- Go to HDB tonight (maybe)
- Go and discuss about which flat to take on Tuesday night
- Choose my flat (yay!!) on Wednesday morning = missing another 2 hours lecture
- Attend career talks every night
- Meet up with breniel for dinner
- Train or beach nationals
-To top all of it all, I forgot to bring my earphones. That means I cant listen to my online lectures on the go. zzz
Ok. I've straighten out my priorities. Trash training and the career talks and the dinner. I got to settle my school work first. I'm going to catch up and be up to date by the end of this week. Time to press the reset button. Better now than later.
Wish me all the best of luck this Wed. Hope me and debbie can get the balcony unit *prays
-Mark-
8/22/2011 08:43:00 AM
Disappointed that in the end even when I tried to turn myself blind to the facts, this time it smashed right into my face:
"Perhaps its time for some other people to grow up"
Shirking responsibility, being super ignorant, acting innocent, being very selfish, acting defenseless and helpless etc etc. 1 more year to graduation and out into the fray you'll go. All I can say is... Good luck
You do have lots in fact, with someone awesome looking over your back and protecting you. But when he is gone, perhaps then you'll be forced to grow up.
All the best
-Mark-
8/10/2011 09:14:00 AM
As i pack my bag, getting ready to leave my hostel which marks the end of my Summer studies, a few things dawned upon me:
I've seen how narrow minded people can be. Life in an overseas program be more about seeing the world, mixing with people, making mistakes and learning from them. No doubt I do not really like talking to people but at least I make an effort because I see the benefits of doing so.
At the same time I've seen how widely read and travelled others are. This has made my more humble and curious as to how the rest of the world really is. No amount of studies in lectures and textbooks will be able to replicate this experience.
I've mixed around with many people from different cultures and being exposed to them have exposed the flaws in our own Singaporean culture. It's sad that it is evident that some of us are so stuck in our own world and contented with what we have. It's like the Chinese phrase: 井 底 之 蛙.
I'll miss the friends I've made here, the carefree live that as a Singaporean, have never experienced while in an education system. The late nights at bars, clubs and beaches getting drunk, being stupid and at the end of it all, take only 10 minutes to walk back to home.
Overall, I'll like to thank my parents and my debbie for being supportive throughout this whole program. I feel like I have finally grew up a little bit, know a bit more about myself and it's an experience that I would recommend everyone who has the opportunity to really take this by the collar and go and try it, even if it is just for a short period of a month
-Mark-
7/28/2011 10:16:00 AM
I am Me. I don't have to be who people want me to be or try to pretend something that I am not. I have often wondered:"What do I want in life? Who am I?"
After countless nights of reflection and deep pensive thoughts, I have arrived at a conclusion. I am kind, I avoid conflicts and unhappiness as much as I can because I don't like them. I prefer to agree than disagree.
I love peace and harmony. I love to be challenged at work, to work to impress and be accepted. I prefer to truly know someone rather than just touch and go. I don't really care about riches and fanciful cars.
I want to love and be loved, have a happy and supportive family. Call me naive but that is what I believe and want. Up to now, I don't believe in all the riches that everyone says the banking world promises.
What profits a man who gains the world but loses his soul? It's not that I believe that I will rot in hell if I go for fame and riches but rather, its that in this world, I'm afraid to live in misery everyday and die unhappy.
We can't take our riches to the other world when we die. "Who says there is another world anyway?" Some would argue. "So you might as well enjoy life here to the max and get filthy rich! After all, you only have one life."
Exactly my point. Who are you to tell me that being rich is the only way to being happy? I know I'll be more than contented with just a supportive family, loving wife, great kids, doting grandparents and with just enough to live by.
"What a naive and girly dream that is" But who are you to tell me about how I should want to live my life and even more so, who are you to tell me that I should not go after my dream?
Yes, there were times when I feel confused. I want to know the whole world, yet I also want to be left alone. At times I want to get it all: be that charismatic person that everyone loves and be that successful person that everyone looks up to. Yet I want to be left alone at the side of the party too.
Isn't that what being human is all about? It's a never ending search for answers to questions. Making mistakes and learning from them, being pensive and being caught up in the moment. I hope that even if I discount everything else, this trip has made me more aware of myself and who I am, who I want to be and one step closer to achieving the happiness that everyone seeks.
"Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart" - Mitch Albom, author of have a little faith.
-Mark-
7/26/2011 09:10:00 PM
